263: Be brave

Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. 

He will not leave you or forsake you.”

Deuteronomy 31:6 

God, Father, are you listening still? This, I thought while the priest was doing his homily. I found myself not listening to what was the priest was saying but rather, I ended up contemplating my relationship with God.

To be honest, I feel like I slackened when it comes to my relationship with Him compare to how it was back when I was in college. But you have to understand that I was studying in st. Scholastica so my access to God was albeit easy compare to right now. *smacks forehead* okay, that was an excuse. I had too many distractions, too many things to think about that I realized that my relationship with him was no longer the same.

God ...  Please, I need You to give me that strength -- that bravery. The one that You used to give me.  I thought willing God to listen to me.

You may wonder what's the deal with this post, and it's because I've been wanting to do certain things and it has been pushing me back to do them because I was afraid. I could not point out where the irrational fear came from when I wasn't so scared before. It annoys the hell out of me because it limits me from moving around.

I'm not sure if  my fear comes from the fact that I no longer have the same strong relationship that I had with God, or it's because of something else. But I know I just need to have faith--that it will be okay--that God hasn't changed--that He still listens and loves me in spite of everything.

76: Should have never watched Insidious

what a bloody idiot.

Well for one, I have watched Insidious; and now I am scared to death to sleep. I really don't like watching horror flicks because it would mean paranoid days and nights for me. After watching a horror film, the feeling I have while watching it stays with me. Worst is, whenever I sleep I end up having bad dreams ~ all connected with the movie I have watched. Thus, I get all jumpy and scared all through out the week.

It's been so very long since I have watched a horror film and I thought I'd give it a try and be reasonable about it. You know, consoling myself not to be afraid because it's just a silly movie after all. But ~ for some damned reason ~ my emotion cannot be controlled. hahaha! I still ended up being paranoid feeling haunted by the ghost in the movie that I have watched.

Oh well I hope can get a grip eventually.