258: Failing Forward for 2014

The essence of man is imperfection. Know that you're going to make mistakes. The fellow who never makes a mistake takes his orders from one who does. Wake up and realize this: Failure is simply a price we pay to achieve success. - J. Maxwell

It's early to say this, but if I have to summarize how my 2014 had been, it's a decline. It's an opposite of how productive my 2013 was. The fault that I had with why I did not achieve that much this year is because of how I handled my goals. Most of those I have listed had no follow through. There was no time management involved as to when I should do them, and I basically left them all to the *right time* -- whatever that means.

Last month, when I checked on my supposed goals, I ended up really depressed about it. I realized that my year had been nothing but (felt) a straight line; there was no self-progression, no highlights, nothing spectacular, plus to make it worst, my goals at work was spiraling out of control! I was mortified when I did a performance review that I realized that for a year my *supposed goals* at work was all scattered.

There was really no one to blame but myself, and how I handled my targets. I guess I should have been smart about handling my time, wiser on my priorities, disciplined to do a follow-through, and faithful to my commitments.

I was on self-loathing, and on the edge of losing my optimism, faith, and hope that all of these are just a temporary set back. Boy, it was hard to pick up myself again and start again just as the sunrises on the morning.

On Recovery
In the midst of my self-hatred, hopelessness, I thought I had to recover once and for all. I thought if I continue to feel bad, and not move forward I'd be in the pit of shit that I had created for myself. So, the first thing I did was that I started reading personal development books. I started on a book that allows me to forgive myself which is: John Maxwell's Fail Forward and it has been an amazing self-help book. It taught me to look at a bigger picture than just dwell on what I had failed on.

Up to now, I'm still recovering but I am back on track. Starting with how I should look at this year. In-spite of the decline of my goals, I want to look at it as an achievement for finally allowing myself to make mistakes. I may had always been afraid to make mistakes and I guess this is the best year to experience it.

I'm looking forward to 2015 as a better person, a spring to my (2014) autumn.

200: Singapore Trip (Part 2): a Realization

Have you really prayed on something, thought hard about it over and over again then one day the dream itself had just landed on your lap? Call it law of attraction, but I believe really believe that I am on my way to my goal.

You see, for the rest of my life I felt like I was drifting. I didn't know what I really want to do, but I've always known what I love and it's to encourage.

This is the reason why I put up my blog because I had committed myself to encourage because I had a little of encouragement and a lot of discouragement in my life. I thought why not start a blog talking about encouragement and encouraging people to let them know that they are not alone in their journey; that they have someone who would not hesitate to push them?

I often wondered about people who tend to discourage people from achieving their potentials. I wondered why they do it. I had my fair share of experience and I wanted to pluck myself and others away from it. I really believe that we have so much potential in our life but because we get so much distraction in our life that we eventually drift away from it. 

I believe God lead me to this realizations when I took the vacation, because going there did not just allow me to have fun but to recognize what I have been praying for. Also, I was able to recondition my mind and set my attitude right. After the vacation I felt like my soul had gone through cleansing. 

I know I have often turn down vacations because it gives me an impression of unnecessary expenses but taking the trip was worth it. If I did not take the trip I would never realized what I want to do in life and be the person to achieve it. 

Now what I want in life is to encourage, inspire, motivate, and be a living example of success. I haven't reached the 'success' part yet, but I know in my heart that God will lead me there with the right set of attitude and and unwavering focus. 

The future had never been look so promising.

To Wonderful and Amazing Future,

158: Conquering Myself

EEEK!!

I almost failed to post today. But I didn't, which I think what matters most. :p haha! Anyway, I am writing about self-discipline today. You have to know that this is what I have been practicing lately. You see, one of my target is to buy Panasonic Lumix GF3 which costs 21+++K. I know I can buy it within my month's salary but I have decided to save 4K per month (5K on the last month). I wanted to have that camera so badly because I want to take blogging on another level, and having this camera would help me achieve that. But there are things that I have to consider before even considering on splurging. Hence, at this moment I have been repressing my being impulsive (It's hard, very very hard).

My impulsive self  wanted to splurge and just buy it. But buying it would mean that I have to skip giving a certain percentage of my salary to my parents, cheating on my monthly savings, and etc., which I cannot do. I know my parents would understand, and I know I can pass on savings, but I told myself that I have committed on those so skipping for a month was not an option. Plus, that would mean that I am breaking my commitment. Right? :))

Controlling myself lead me to realize this: disciplining myself is hard. But the reminder that I have to continue doing what I have started on (sort of -- okay I'm not yet used to it), alleviates my dampening mood.

You might wonder why dampening mood? Dampening mood because I'm telling you it's hard. I wouldn't deny that not buying what I wanted the most at this moment (knowing I can) sort of depresses me. But I believe practicing this self-control ~ despite how it makes me feel ~ would lead to better results in the future. It has to lead on something beautiful. I know and I believe it. So yes, delayed gratification for me at this moment. But it will be worth it. :)

To Conquering ourselves!

154: Major Revamp Going On [in Blog and in Life] ! :)

Finally, I am revamping my blog. The reason why I am revamping my blog is because finally I came up with a theme. This theme would feature things that I think would help me to be a better person. You see, I have been into self-development lately and I want this to be my channel where (probably) I hope I can help others as well. It's not that I have what it takes to be a ~ I don't know ~ sort of self-improvement-adviser? hahaha! But it's one of the things that I have committed on. What I am going to share here is how I want to improve myself, how I plan to improve myself, the experiences that I have encountered, and the lessons it had taught me. And in doing so, I only hope that I can inspire, motivate people with my entries. 

So there fellow Padawans let's plan and take an action in becoming a better person than we are yesterday. Remember, there's nothing too late.

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