284: Start Again.

Wow, 2 months, and 22 days since my last post. I never expected that I would be writing here again soon. But -- well -- I thought that I should after facing some 'dead ends' along my way in this so-called life. I though where-else is the best place to rant, and rave, and feel hopeful again than here in my own blog space? Who knows I may impart some wisdom to others.

Okay so for the past few months, years I have spent my life trying to dip my hands in Entrepreneurship. I've gone through selling stuffs online, joined network marketing, done trading, and recommended buyers for real estate. But for the past few months, I finally have dipped my hands on a real baby project. This baby project will be my first tangible 'small business'.

To say, when I brought up the idea I've had people who are ready to invest. So, knowing that I have support, I've started moving my baby project from idea to writing. However, during consultation, I've come into some 'road-blocks'. There are real life questions thrown at me that I started to doubt if I can really carry out my 'baby' and bring it to fruition: Can I really do it?

To say, that nagging question 'can you really do it?' worked as sledgehammer on my confidence, and courage. That one question totally bothered me all through out my plans that for sometime I've ended up almost abandoning the idea. The fear or failure, and not being able to meet the expectation of my investors had troubled me.

I couldn't move. They say that over thinking results to paralysis, and it does. Since I do not want to be bothered by that nagging question I ended up succumbing to a habit that's not really helpful such as binge reading on romance novels (guilty pleasure!), oversleeping, and procrastinating. These bad habits had become a morphine that allowed me to block this one tough question (among a lot of them to come when I go from writing phase to building phase).

However, yesterday while listening to the accomplishments of my friends, and how others had 'arrived' to a new phase of their life, made me feel coward. I thought that I also wanted to reach some milestones and share it with my friends, therefore, I need to break this addiction of morphia. It's either I keep on cowering, or face them.

So how do I 'start again', first I think it's important to confront myself -- hence this entry -- and admitting that I've had a bad addiction. Second, it's revisiting my 'to do' list, and going back again on what I want to accomplish in long term.Third, it's to focus, and act.

*sigh* It's not too late to start again, anyway. I pray for more courage, strength, and faith this time. Amen.