287: Begin Again

Exactly how many starts should we really make in life? Just last October 24 I have written about 'Starting Again', and right now I am -- yet, again -- writing about 'Starting Again', how just funny is that? Well, for one thing, I am so blessed to have the opportunity to be able to 'start again' because it means I have this time to make up for all the wrong things that I have made, face my shortcomings, and be a better person than I was.

So what exactly is new to me:

1. New role and team in the office

To say, I knew that I wasn't performing at my best on my previous role. I knew that I kept on coming short on my goals, and was always rushing to meet deliverables. There were too many 'I should have done this, done that' when I was on my previous post, and too many self deprecating moments that I lost my confidence on myself.

There was no one to blame but myself. I knew that I kept on coming short because I wasn't trying hard enough. I couldn't figure out why I always feel inadequate: What is it because I don't have enough time? Because I was handling too much? But one thing is for sure: I wasn't really happy. I wish I had done better, I knew I could have been better but I just didn't do better.

What's good is that I was given a new post in a new team. Equipped with my experiences and learnings, this new position is a ticket for me to redeem, and to prove to myself that I am better.

I know I am better now.


2. New Business Idea

Exactly how many papers have I wasted brain storming on my idea? The last time I have written on my Starting Again  I have spent four months searching for a new idea that's feasible for me to execute, and I am glad that I now I have one. To say, I have already progressed, in fact I can imagine how it will look like, and how it will be. I am looking forward to writing about it soon. Well, I will write about it when I have already executed it.

If you want to know why I need to execute this baby project is because  it's also a way for me to defeat this nagging thought that I could not do it. I just want to prove to myself that I am not a 'good at start' type of person, that I can also make an idea come to life.

3. New Personal Development Group

I have attended a recent Millionaire Mind Intensive Seminar. This seminar is a conducted by Harv T. Eker's group. Harv T. Eker, by the way, is a successful author of the Secrets of the Millionaire Mind: Mastering the Inner Game of Wealth. During the seminar, I was able to meet a lot of people that were actually my friends now. One of those people that I met happens to be in the same location as I was so we both decided to invite people who also lives near for a meet up. We thought that it's good for us to keep the positivity, and the energy alive. I am glad that we were able to make the commitment to meet each other in spite of how busy our schedules were.

I am excited to see more people in our future meetings because the reason why we made the group, besides keeping the energy alive, is to share what we have learned in the seminar because it helped us a lot. We all know that we'll be able to help our friends by sharing it with them too. We want to keep a pool of people who would strive to push others to reach their potential, to let them know that there are people out there who would encourage them in spite of how hopeless life may seem. We also want to be the light to others.

So I am excited to see this group grow. I look forward in hearing more positivity, and people cheering for other people's success.

So those are the things that had started in my life. I am blessed to be able to start again because it means that life is not yet over for me, that I still have this chance to make a start, to redeem myself.

The past few failures that I encountered were really defeating to the point that I am starting to question my ability to succeed. But I am glad that due to my continuous personal development reading it taught me to live on values, and one of them is to persevere.

I am not complaining that life knocked me too many times, and too many tears had spilled, because I know that it's just preparing me for a better tomorrow.

286: Outgrowing the Jeans, Tshirt, and Sneakers

That's me back 2012 (in white shirt), and that's me on my friend's wedding reception last Sunday (I did my hair and make up by the way). All through out my life I am more of a tomboy than a girly-girl, maybe it's because I had grown up surrounded by my brother's friends that made me no clue how to act like a girl. I had hope that I'd figure things out if I grow up, however during my highschool and college days I had hormonal acne, and with weight problems that caused me to have a low self-esteem.

I never really bothered to learn about make-up, and fashion because of my low self-esteem, and I was comfortable being boyish. However, right now there's a certain 'want' inside of me that wanted to outgrow the jeans, sneakers, and t-shirts.

Hence, I started buying books, consulting pinterest, and watching youtube videos for tutorials. I still feel puzzled when faced with choices of clothes, and make ups, but I am actually having fun learning them.

I am also glad that my friends helped me when I go shopping. They help me mix and match, and figure what make up works best for me. They even share recommendations, and were honest to say what's bargain, and what looks good on me. I thought if I just do things on my own it would be tough, and it's handy to have a very supporting friends.

If there's anything that I have learned, I guess we have our own pace to break free from our 'shell' to be the person that we wanted to be, and we just need to be patient to wait for that right time. Additionally, it never pains to be humble enough to ask for assistance from your friends. :)

284: Start Again.

Wow, 2 months, and 22 days since my last post. I never expected that I would be writing here again soon. But -- well -- I thought that I should after facing some 'dead ends' along my way in this so-called life. I though where-else is the best place to rant, and rave, and feel hopeful again than here in my own blog space? Who knows I may impart some wisdom to others.

Okay so for the past few months, years I have spent my life trying to dip my hands in Entrepreneurship. I've gone through selling stuffs online, joined network marketing, done trading, and recommended buyers for real estate. But for the past few months, I finally have dipped my hands on a real baby project. This baby project will be my first tangible 'small business'.

To say, when I brought up the idea I've had people who are ready to invest. So, knowing that I have support, I've started moving my baby project from idea to writing. However, during consultation, I've come into some 'road-blocks'. There are real life questions thrown at me that I started to doubt if I can really carry out my 'baby' and bring it to fruition: Can I really do it?

To say, that nagging question 'can you really do it?' worked as sledgehammer on my confidence, and courage. That one question totally bothered me all through out my plans that for sometime I've ended up almost abandoning the idea. The fear or failure, and not being able to meet the expectation of my investors had troubled me.

I couldn't move. They say that over thinking results to paralysis, and it does. Since I do not want to be bothered by that nagging question I ended up succumbing to a habit that's not really helpful such as binge reading on romance novels (guilty pleasure!), oversleeping, and procrastinating. These bad habits had become a morphine that allowed me to block this one tough question (among a lot of them to come when I go from writing phase to building phase).

However, yesterday while listening to the accomplishments of my friends, and how others had 'arrived' to a new phase of their life, made me feel coward. I thought that I also wanted to reach some milestones and share it with my friends, therefore, I need to break this addiction of morphia. It's either I keep on cowering, or face them.

So how do I 'start again', first I think it's important to confront myself -- hence this entry -- and admitting that I've had a bad addiction. Second, it's revisiting my 'to do' list, and going back again on what I want to accomplish in long term.Third, it's to focus, and act.

*sigh* It's not too late to start again, anyway. I pray for more courage, strength, and faith this time. Amen.

#HappyPirate: For Sale: Blogger Layout

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236: Follow The Pirate

 

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