151: Facing my own fears

Do you love Game of Thrones? I just love that awesome, brutal, intelligent book. Anyway, there is a particular quote that I came across where in I find very true. This quote was said by one of my favorite characters, Arya Stark.

Fear cuts deeper than swords.

Fear might be a word that we just shrugged off. Fear is a four letter word that doesn't seem to bother us consciously, but what we don't know is that it's actually the poison that's running on our blood that's putting us into coma before we even start to make our dreams come true. I wouldn't say that I am free of this, because I have my fair share of experiences where in my fear got the best of me. Fear stops me before I even do what I want to do.

To tell you my story, I would like to indicate the number one fear that I have.

FAILURE.

I am afraid to fail. I am afraid to fail executing my ideas. I am afraid to fail my certification exams, and etc.,  Hence, I either delay doing them or not doing them at all. I want to design and print my own shirt way long ago but never actually have done them. Why? Because I was afraid that it might not come out the way I expected it to. Second, I might just waste my money and time. So, I never really have done anything. Fear had won over me. Thus, I never had my own designed shirt.

My example might be simple. But what I don't know, fear actually is the reason why I have never taken a step towards what I wanted before. And the important thing I have learned about fear is: A smaller fear can be a bigger fear.

I knew I cannot live on fear, so I made a way for me to address them.

I put name on my fears

I write all the fears that I have, because I believe fear is the enemy I have to know. I cannot face my enemy without knowing them. Thus, in my opinion, it's important that I am conscious of my own fears. Hence, I identify them.

All the Pros and none the cons.

I don't think of the cons in facing them. I just write down/think of all the good things that I will get when I conquer them. Writing down the cons, makes me realize how important for me to face them.

Get inspired

I love words of wisdom! Words of wisdom gets me fueled. It inspires me to eradicate my irrational fears. This makes me realize how important my pros are, and how I should fight for my dreams to come true despite of my fears.

Pray 

Our priest once said that "Prayer changes people". I also believe the power of prayer, I always pray for strength to face my fear. It helps!

You, what are you ways to face your fear?

150: Moved On from the Pain

It's been quite a while since the last time I have written here. The thing is, I drifted away because I was in "moving on" process, hence my last post.

Anyway, the past few weeks were another self discovery moments for me. Among the things that I have discovered, I conceived how much would my emotion do to try to beat to my knees. During the time that I was moving on, I was controlling my mind from wandering back to the person involve. I try to be productive just to divert my attention. I also tried so hard convincing myself that if I want to move on I must stop clinging on the thought of going back. Additionally, I try not to wonder about the "what-ifs" or console my longings. I was afraid that if I did, I might tell myself to try it for the last time. I have decided that I should look forward. I must look forward. So, those steps were essential for me to take.

Know when to let go

I wanted to empty out all the hurt that I had.  So when I was more in control of myself, I wrote about how I felt. I know it might sound contrary of what I just said but I allow myself to grieve. I do this so I could dump all the pain inside. Believe me, it helped me moved on.

I do not write only of my pains, but I also write the small joys that I have; The feeling of gratefulness for where I am now and for what I currently have. Writing about those healed me. Praying to God also have helped me heal. Those things that I did helped me gain back the hope that I have for tomorrow.

Moving on is a process. It takes strength to overcome the pain. It takes faith that there's something good to look forward to. But we have to believe that one day it will all end. We just need to take the first step in order to get there. Know when it's enough, and stand firm on it. The rest will follow. ☺

149: How to Stop Thinking About Someone?

"I need to stop doing this" I suddenly blurted out of the blue while my friends and I were on our way to Tagaytay. They looked at me in surprise and wondered why on earth I randomly said that out loud. 

Yes, Carrie that's what I thought too.

Of course, they ended up prying for information that something has been bothering me. I whisked out their concern by saying that I was just obsessing on my work. They seemed to be satisfied with my answer, they let go of my random rant. Little they did know the reason why I actually said that is because there's this certain person who keeps on popping on my mind. This person had been a constant plague of my sanity. I tell you. 

To say, I have the ability to quell my thoughts and control my emotions. So during the night, I told myself that I have to stop thinking about this guy. It was my firm determination and decision that not thinking about this person is what I want. I admit that it's hard and it takes time before I master myself from being free from that person. But, I have to admit that telling myself that I want to stop thinking about him, help made things a little lighter. It was my first step.

So I was pacing back and forth inside my room, while thinking of ways how to restrain my mind from thinking. I know we have different rules to control our mind, but here are mine:

1. Do not be idle - Being idle would give me space to think. That's why when I am trying to move on (not just on person but let's say on a situation that bothers me) I become very productive. Let's keep my mind busy!
2. Think of someone/something else - My mind literally needs to obsess on something else, because if not, 'Houston we have a problem' . Bam! I'm back thinking of that person.
3. Think of their flaws - haha, yes! I need to be aware of that person's flaws and realize that that person does not deserve my thoughts.
4. Pray - What can I say, prayer does wonders. 

There are many ways to stop thinking of someone. I came across this article that had listed the ways to stop thinking of a person. It pretty much indicated a lot of ways. You can read the article here. I think it's helpful when you are trying to move on.

The thing is, forgetting someone is hard but I always believe that if this is what we really want to happen, it's our determination that will help us make it happen. So figure things out with yourself, then make an unyielding decision. 

You, what are the things you do to forget someone?

148: What Keeps You Going?

"I can do this."

This is what I told myself when I realized that what I am going to do to achieve my goal, is hard. I have been saying it every time I am being challenged on working on my goals. I say it out loud when I feel like quitting or I feel like giving up on my goals. 

I. Can. Do. This.

There are lot of ways that keeps me going. To mention a few: first, I have my daily devotionals that keeps me spiritually motivated. Let's be honest, in achieving goals, we always end up asking for God's assistance. When I feel like I can no longer go on, I would look up and say "God, I cannot do it. But you can." And mumble a prayer and continue pursuing my aims, all leaving to God to work on His miracles on my plans. Second, is my future family. I want them to have a comfortable and convenient life, that's why I also consider them when I make my decision at this present.

147: Why am I single?

Why are you single? Why am I single?

Image from Boston Magazine

This is a very interesting subject. I was browsing my twitter when I saw that #IamSingleBecause is trending. The response of people were interesting. If you're going to ask me what situation I am currently in, I'll tell you that I'm single and proud. But I must admit that I have been hanging out with some guys every now and then. But that's just it. Just hanging out.

There are many reasons why people remain single. There is even an article that mentions if a person is addicted to being single.

I'll say my reasons why I am currently single and why I don't get jealous when I am being surrounded with people who are currently attached. But first I'd post here some response in twitter which I liked.

Okay, so why some people prefer to remain single? My sister told me one of the reasons (which is really the obvious): being single means less complications. But there are more reasons, reasons that we could only say to ourselves. Some reasons are found here. 

What I like about my status at the moment is the fact that I am currently spoiling myself by enjoying my earnings alone. I buy stuffs that I want. I can wear whatever that pleases me. I don't have to worry about second opinion. And I am free from emotional entanglement, headache, and heartache. 

I never get jealous/envious towards my friends who are currently in relationship because I know my time for relationship will come. Besides, if he's going to come, he will come. Let me enjoy myself for now. ♥☺

We share the same opinion. Retweeted.

You, are you currently single, or in relationship? Why do you prefer your current situation?