223: How do you define your life?

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 Do all the other things, the ambitious things – travel, get rich, get famous, innovate, lead, fall in love, make and lose fortunes, swim naked in wild jungle rivers (after first having it tested for monkey poop) – but as you do, to the extent that you can, err in the direction of kindness. Do those things that incline you toward the big questions, and avoid the things that would reduce you and make you trivial. That luminous part of you that exists beyond personality – your soul, if you will – is as bright and shining as any that has ever been. Bright as Shakespeare’s, bright as Gandhi’s, bright as Mother Teresa’s. Clear away everything that keeps you separate from this secret luminous place. Believe it exists, come to know it better, nurture it, share its fruits tirelessly. And someday, in 80 years, [...]I hope you will say: It has been so wonderful.

- George Saunders message to Graduates

Let's talk about life. Back when I was in college, I often thought how mundane it is to just live, work, have family, work, and retire. Not that there's something wrong in that sequence. But I thought that I am sure there's more to life than that. I knew mine is. I knew deep inside that we are born with purpose. So I seek, I seek for answers to my questions.

We have different meaning of what life is: Mine could be very well different from yours. But if you'd ask me what life is: I believe it's experience. Experience different (good) adventures, see different places, experience different emotions, and ingrate everything on memory so when I reach my aging years I will be able to tell my stories to my grand daughters/sons. Write them on a book and share how exhilarating it is to skydive at Peru, how beautiful the sunset is in Mykonos, Greece. How beautiful France at midnight, To join the volunteer and feed the people at Kenya, and etc,. I want to experience all of this without limitation, hence I am glad that I found what I wanted to pursue (and I'm pursuing it now!).

I want to glorify my struggles, pains, and challenges and how it shaped me to become the person I am. To inspire people and make them realize that those pains are not there to break us but to make us a better person. For me, the ultimate goal is to know that through my experience I am able to inspire and motivate people.

I want to define my life as someone who found happiness by appreciating, and seeing God's handcraft to us.

We could have different view of what life is. Others, might say that they have lived life by being loved, by finding happiness through living simple, or by devoting themselves to God. Every one of us a different definition. So you, what's yours?

159: Learning to Ride a Bike and On My Blog's Future

Hihihi, I am happy that I am able to post this Saturday night. If you want to know, I am really sleepy at the moment but then I wanted to get this entry published,  because I have the spirit. I guess. :p

Anyway, my friend had asked me about this blog and she asked why I even bother since no one seems to be reading my entries. My friend had a point, why would I even bother blogging/writing about entries that I think no one ever reads? I told her that I certainly believe that maybe one percent or probably a point something percent stumbles here in my blog and the chances of having that audience read an entry means everything to me. Plus, I am doing this because I love writing, inspiring, and motivating. So I am doing this for my passion. :)

With regards to that, I decided to make an official Love, Leah blog. That place will be where I will dump my entries, articles on the net, blog entries I found on the net, videos created by others, and/or anything that I think would fit my Love, Leah mission/vision. I think doing that would at least fit everything. Not unlike at this page where my entries does not connect to my very past personal entries. hahaha!

You know, if there's anything that I want to share at this time it's the story of how I learned to ride my bike. 

To say, I love bicycles! I love how I see kids ride their bikes. It always gives me an impression that having a bike would take me to places. So, it was one of my dreams to learn how to ride a bike. I got a bike when I was a kid, but then my bike had training wheels. When I broke that bike, my parents did not get me one again. I was already on my 5th grade when my dad bought our mountain bike. So you see I am basically inept in riding. But I knew it was an opportunity for me to make my dream come true. So, I decided that I will start learning to ride a bike again even without training wheels. Gulp!

As expected, my first ride was bad. Ugly bad. I keep on falling on the ground. It was hard because I was small for our mountain bike that if I fell I wouldn't be able to use my legs as a support. So most of the time I end up injuring myself. 

But since I wanted so badly to learn how to ride it, I kept practicing. I rode my bike every day despite of the injuries that I get. I keep on telling myself that I'm sure I'll do better next time, and until one day ... I did. I no longer have to find a support (I always use our gate so I ride our bike so pretty close in our gate) and I was riding .... and I felt like I was flying. Yes, it took me to places. It made me feel the wind against my face. It was freeing. I loved how it felt when I realize that I was riding! I cannot explain the incredible happiness that I felt when I was riding so far without stopping.

Learning how to ride my bike was one of the most essential lesson I have learned in my life. I realized that if I wanted something so badly, regardless of the hard work and the pain ... it wouldn't stop me. Because I know I am determined to achieve it.

To determination!

151: Facing my own fears

Do you love Game of Thrones? I just love that awesome, brutal, intelligent book. Anyway, there is a particular quote that I came across where in I find very true. This quote was said by one of my favorite characters, Arya Stark.

Fear cuts deeper than swords.

Fear might be a word that we just shrugged off. Fear is a four letter word that doesn't seem to bother us consciously, but what we don't know is that it's actually the poison that's running on our blood that's putting us into coma before we even start to make our dreams come true. I wouldn't say that I am free of this, because I have my fair share of experiences where in my fear got the best of me. Fear stops me before I even do what I want to do.

To tell you my story, I would like to indicate the number one fear that I have.

FAILURE.

I am afraid to fail. I am afraid to fail executing my ideas. I am afraid to fail my certification exams, and etc.,  Hence, I either delay doing them or not doing them at all. I want to design and print my own shirt way long ago but never actually have done them. Why? Because I was afraid that it might not come out the way I expected it to. Second, I might just waste my money and time. So, I never really have done anything. Fear had won over me. Thus, I never had my own designed shirt.

My example might be simple. But what I don't know, fear actually is the reason why I have never taken a step towards what I wanted before. And the important thing I have learned about fear is: A smaller fear can be a bigger fear.

I knew I cannot live on fear, so I made a way for me to address them.

I put name on my fears

I write all the fears that I have, because I believe fear is the enemy I have to know. I cannot face my enemy without knowing them. Thus, in my opinion, it's important that I am conscious of my own fears. Hence, I identify them.

All the Pros and none the cons.

I don't think of the cons in facing them. I just write down/think of all the good things that I will get when I conquer them. Writing down the cons, makes me realize how important for me to face them.

Get inspired

I love words of wisdom! Words of wisdom gets me fueled. It inspires me to eradicate my irrational fears. This makes me realize how important my pros are, and how I should fight for my dreams to come true despite of my fears.

Pray 

Our priest once said that "Prayer changes people". I also believe the power of prayer, I always pray for strength to face my fear. It helps!

You, what are you ways to face your fear?

143: Wanted: Car

I need a car.

vroom, vroom 

This thought suddenly came when I realized how hard it was to commute going to this particular dermatology clinic at Alabang. Going there is hassle, leaving there was more hassle. After I got my face pricked and cleaned, my sister and I realized that the mode of transportation we both have is to ride a jeep. The thought of riding a jeep right after facial cleaning was horrible. But, unfortunately, it was the only option we had at the moment. So we did.

Car is not exactly a luxury because it can come very handy in some cases. I'm not exactly a car enthusiast. I love commuting because I can relax while waiting for the bus to stop on my destination. It also frees me from gas and toll worry. So the thought of getting a car was not exactly appealing to me.

However, as I grow little by little, and the places I go to no longer consist of two points, the need of a car arises. I'm telling you it's not the fact that I wanted luxury but rather the convenience of having the means to go to certain places without worrying about make-up melting, about available seats, what next to ride to get certain place, pollution, about sweating excessively before getting to the location, and the list goes on.

To say, we have a car but my father owns it; and it's not really advisable to use his car just because first, he gets a little too jumpy on idea of us borrowing his car. Second, I believe he thinks that we are going to get the car few scratches. Besides, I never really like borrowing my father's stuffs. Hence, borrowing is out of the subject.

But it's fine. I believe that I can get myself a car. I can do it. I can do this. How easy can it be?

23: :( & :D

I learned how dogs love when one day, I was so sad and my dog Pinky went into my room and placed her head on my lap. I did not share how I felt to anyone and it was she who had felt that something was wrong and was the first one to sympathize with me.

We might never spoke the same language but we definitely share our feelings.

.... I miss her but I know she's in the best place right now. <3

***

Anyway, baaaaah I'm going to skip talking about that because I might eventually weep. HAHAHA! Today, I spent half of my time sleeping, a bit of reading, updating my story, updating my sketch, making finance manager program in Excel, and crocheting. I literally did not leave my room today except when I go to use our bathroom or eat.

My mom knocked on my door and asked me if I was being a *cave woman* again (this had been our joke when I don't go out of my room) and I told her that it's just for today because I am getting behind my works. When she asked me of what I am doing, she laugh a little and told me that I should stop getting a head of my time. I told her that I was actually procrastinating last week and just had the opportunity to work on my stuff today, so I was a bit loaded. But I assure her that I was having fun doing those.

*sigh* But  I thought that she was right. So I just stopped crocheting. After updating this, I might get some goodie-foodie and watch some zombie movie. :] HAHAHA that rhymes.

So how was your weekend? :)

21: jealousy inspires me

I have been browsing my favorite links and every time I see their new creative stuffs, it never fails to make me jealous. In particular, while I was browsing Mall's blog, I couldn't help but hope that I can do magical stuffs like hers; make my own designed toys and do murals just like hers. Then while I was scanning, I remembered what our priest said earlier. He mentioned that he also gets jealous by those people who can play the piano. He said that he can't be just jealous and admire them forever, so what he did was to take lessons.

In my case, I also believe the same thing. I cannot be just a spectator forever. I cannot let things pass before my eyes. I may not be as good as Mall or any of my favorite artists but it won't definitely stop me from practicing and be better. I may get jealous and envious but it was never a destruction but rather as an inspiration.

To say, since I was obsessing with handcrafts, arts, and cooking I have been practicing and I know eventually I'll do good. I won't stop until I get there.

just saying. hahaha! :D