Saturday, November 26, 2011

102: Life Encounters.

I know I haven't blogging here as I jump back to tumblr ever since my fascination with Glee started. But I thought about blogging here because there's something I want to blab about. As much I wanted to rant in my tumblr, I do not want people to think that I am being a jealous idiot who's experiencing identity crisis.

  1. I ship gay couple in Glee. Are you watching Glee? If so, I bet you are familiar with Brittany and Santana. Brittany and Santana are the cheerleader in the group. Well you see I fell in love with them. I love their story so much that led me to question my sexuality.
  2. Since I got into the "Brittana" bandwagon, I got envious ~ intensely envious by the fact that I cannot be darn good as others in creating graphics and drawing. 
Okay so focusing on the first one. I never really thought about my sexuality even before I started falling in love with Santana and Brittany, however ever since a friend of mine commented the oddity of my fascination with the couple led me to wonder about my sexual preference. 

First and foremost, I wouldn't deny that I am actually attracted to female. I mean, I tend to have girl crush when I find them admirable or charming. But though the fact that I find myself infatuated with them I never really considered being in relationship with them. So does that make me ... lesbian? bi-curious?

The thing is I cannot just picture myself being committed to women compare to seeing myself with a male partner.  You know what I mean? So yeah probably I'm bi-curious.

Second, regarding my being envy, I just couldn't comprehend how others in the darn tumblr could be so darn good in graphics. I get frustrated when I see how others were doing. So of course I end up doing my darn best to better and I end up thinking how I suck. 

Lol, but I guess the best part there is that I do not stop. 

Oh well that's all we have for now.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Saturday, November 5, 2011

100th! :)

well ... whaddya know. I reached my 100th! ☺
but this too shall pass.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

99: Rant!: Losing Touch?

I have been wondering if I have lost my touch towards the habits that I used to love. First, losing my love on writing. I have been a frustrated writer. I may not be a proficient writer but yes every now and then (before) I used to ramble on my journal. I used to compose quite a few paragraphs. Now, I'm down to 1 paragraph to a few sentences.

I usually blame my work; telling myself that I am too tired to even think of an entry. Or I'd rather caught up with my missed sleep that's why I procrastinate writing until forgotten.

Second, losing my attraction towards drawing. I have been trying to improve my drawing ever since. Like on drawing, I also lost my attention on drawing.

It's frustrating. I know I do not want to lose these habits. In fact I want to add few things in my habits. There's sculpting, painting, and cooking. I hope that I won't be the type of person who turned out to be slaves of work that the only thing they know to do is to work and sleep.

Oh well ... So does this mean that I have totally lost my touch? -- no not yet. I may not write as often as I used to but at least I am able to think what to write about. As you know, evident of this entry. Then, I still have a time to draw though very very little. But, if I manage not to practice them even - even a little while, I'll lose it.

So I guess this all depends on me now, right?

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