Sunday, May 20, 2012

151: Facing my own fears

Do you love Game of Thrones? I just love that awesome, brutal, intelligent book. Anyway, there is a particular quote that I came across where in I find very true. This quote was said by one of my favorite characters, Arya Stark.
Fear cuts deeper than swords.
Fear might be a word that we just shrugged off. Fear is a four letter word that doesn't seem to bother us consciously, but what we don't know is that it's actually the poison that's running on our blood that's putting us into coma before we even start to make our dreams come true. I wouldn't say that I am free of this, because I have my fair share of experiences where in my fear got the best of me. Fear stops me before I even do what I want to do.

To tell you my story, I would like to indicate the number one fear that I have.


I am afraid to fail. I am afraid to fail executing my ideas. I am afraid to fail my certification exams, and etc.,  Hence, I either delay doing them or not doing them at all. I want to design and print my own shirt way long ago but never actually have done them. Why? Because I was afraid that it might not come out the way I expected it to. Second, I might just waste my money and time. So, I never really have done anything. Fear had won over me. Thus, I never had my own designed shirt.

My example might be simple. But what I don't know, fear actually is the reason why I have never taken a step towards what I wanted before. And the important thing I have learned about fear is: A smaller fear can be a bigger fear.

I knew I cannot live on fear, so I made a way for me to address them.

I put name on my fears

I write all the fears that I have, because I believe fear is the enemy I have to know. I cannot face my enemy without knowing them. Thus, in my opinion, it's important that I am conscious of my own fears. Hence, I identify them.

All the Pros and none the cons.

I don't think of the cons in facing them. I just write down/think of all the good things that I will get when I conquer them. Writing down the cons, makes me realize how important for me to face them.

Get inspired

I love words of wisdom! Words of wisdom gets me fueled. It inspires me to eradicate my irrational fears. This makes me realize how important my pros are, and how I should fight for my dreams to come true despite of my fears.


Our priest once said that "Prayer changes people". I also believe the power of prayer, I always pray for strength to face my fear. It helps!

You, what are you ways to face your fear?

Saturday, May 12, 2012

150: Moved On from the Pain

It's been quite a while since the last time I have written here. The thing is, I drifted away because I was in "moving on" process, hence my last post.

Anyway, the past few weeks were another self discovery moments for me. Among the things that I have discovered, I conceived how much would my emotion do to try to beat to my knees. During the time that I was moving on, I was controlling my mind from wandering back to the person involve. I try to be productive just to divert my attention. I also tried so hard convincing myself that if I want to move on I must stop clinging on the thought of going back. Additionally, I try not to wonder about the "what-ifs" or console my longings. I was afraid that if I did, I might tell myself to try it for the last time. I have decided that I should look forward. I must look forward. So, those steps were essential for me to take.

Know when to let go

I wanted to empty out all the hurt that I had.  So when I was more in control of myself, I wrote about how I felt. I know it might sound contrary of what I just said but I allow myself to grieve. I do this so I could dump all the pain inside. Believe me, it helped me moved on.

I do not write only of my pains, but I also write the small joys that I have; The feeling of gratefulness for where I am now and for what I currently have. Writing about those healed me. Praying to God also have helped me heal. Those things that I did helped me gain back the hope that I have for tomorrow.

Moving on is a process. It takes strength to overcome the pain. It takes faith that there's something good to look forward to. But we have to believe that one day it will all end. We just need to take the first step in order to get there. Know when it's enough, and stand firm on it. The rest will follow. ☺
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