Friday, January 16, 2015

271: How God reached out to me thru Pope Francis

I am still reeling from the fact that a little while ago I was two - three steps away from Pope Francis. Who would have thought that I would have this opportunity? 

--- Well apparently, God. 

Last January 11, I dreamed of seeing Pope Francis live. In my dream I got to see him so close, but before I had the chance to know if I will ever have the chance in touching him, I woke up. I was so amused and at the same time thrilled by my dream, I wrote it in my status on facebook.

"hihi dreamt of Pope Francis. Back to sleep."
A few days after while I was on my way to go the office, I was reading a passage in bible and I ended up reading Matthew 1:18-25 ( it was basically about the angel appearing on Joseph's dream). When I got to the part where Joseph woke up from his dream and he did what the angel of the lord commanded him to do, I ended up thinking if it was a sign that I should see the Pope in any way that I can. 

I never really thought hard about it, because I thought that my chance of seeing him in real is rather slim to no chance at all. I mean, how can I see him when there's so many people who's probably more aggressive in actually seeing him than me? I was so indecisive because there were so many things I was worrying about, like I thought about stampede, security, and just being disappointed because I wouldn't see him. I, honestly, want to give up on the idea.

But early morning today, I decided to give it a go and I mumbled a silent prayer that I hope to see our Pope. But I already had conditioned myself that whatever happens I'll just enjoy and experience what it's like to actually wait for him. 

And to my surprise, this happened:

So what does it have to do about God sending his message to me thru our Pope? If you read my entry 'Be Brave' I reached to the point asking if God is still listening to me because He seems to be indifferent on my sufferings, I felt so defeated when I felt that He wasn't listening at all. So I stopped asking for His intervention on my dreams. I ended up just asking for God to strengthen my faith.

And this granted opportunity to see Pope Francis and his message on Meeting of the Families was just the answer.

First, the appearance of Pope on my dream, and the gospel I came across (Matthew 1:18-25) -- This tells me that I need to have faith on my dreams.

Second, the fact that Pope also discussed about the power of dreaming (I didn't know that Pope talked about the power of dreams because I was on my way home when the Pope talked about it during the meeting of families. I got to know about this when someone commented on my Facebook post that 'Pope just talked about the power of dreaming')

If you're familiar with my entries, this means a lot to me because I have many aspirations, and dreams. Last year's setbacks almost had me questioning if God is still there. He answered me thru the Pope's chosen topic: Dreaming! Coincidence? Of course not! Plus, he discussed about it right after I saw him in the flesh! What a right timing!

I almost strayed away from God because of my disappointments, and how He seems to ignore me, but He used the Pope -- His chosen shepherd -- to bring me back to His loving arms.

Thank you, God. Thank you, Pope Francis.

Sunday, January 11, 2015

270: How 2015 so far?

Hello dear lovelies! So how's your 2015 so far? I hope yours started amazing just as mine did. I have been keeping up with my organizer and I'm glad that things were working out lately. I'd definitely say that I am more conscious on my goals and I've been beating myself off from procrastinating. I've been more afraid now whenever I feel like delaying my plans or whenever I ended up not doing them. Honestly, ever since I started using my organizer and started reading self-help books about productivity, I felt more in control of my life.

I'm not sure if the *organizer* is the key, but -- hahaha -- honestly, last year I just leave things to happen spontaneously or whenever it is convenient to do so, but I really do believe that the organizer helped so much to keep me on track, just as it helped me last 2013. Additionally, the self-help books keeps me fueled to go-on and strive to be better.

Here's to hoping for more accomplishment this year!

Miso the French Pug from Miso @ facebook | Edited by Me

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Friday, January 2, 2015

269: 5 Important Things Life Taught Me Last Year

gif from vanityem

Before I finally let go of 2014, I have written the things that it taught me. Although, I have flinch while looking on my list, I told myself that I need to move on, and forgive myself for being unwise, and undisciplined. I believe last year was the best time to actually learn through failure and pain, so that I won't be making the same mistake in the future. Here are some of lesson that I have learned:

1. Think Before Making a Commitment

I am incredibly impulsive. I get too excited with ideas, and invitations. When someone invites me to go out of town, to attend a party, to join the upcoming sport activity -- I'll say 'yes' immediately without considering my schedule and the location. My friends used to taunt me that I am someone who cancels at the last minute or they wouldn't expect so much in terms of my appearance because I was already engaged in another event. It was embarrassing, and it makes me feel bad that I am losing the integrity of my commitments.

After I realized how many canceled invitations I have done, I told myself that I need to stop 'agreeing' on these invitations before people would lose their trust on my words. Now, I make it a habit to just say 'I'll check my schedule first', before I give my decision.

2. Time Management

'Time is Gold', damn the cliche but it gets truer as I age. Before, I used to think that I can manage my commitments all at same time. I can accomplish tasks because I have all the time in the world -- well, no. Now that I have started working, and have personal goals that I need to accomplish, I realized that it's a struggle juggling them all together. I can now relate to people saying that they don't have time doing extra things -- like exercising, cooking their own food, etc., because there isn't enough time to accomplish everything.

Time management is my Achilles heels. Being unable to manage time ruins my goal setting; that and add the unnecessary engagements are all that it takes to see everything falling apart.

Honestly, up until now it's still a struggle. I still have to work 9 hours, sleep for 6 hours, travel to work for 2 to 3 hours, and etc., so I'm still puzzled on how I can achieve everything. The solution I thought was distributing my goals in a week. Let's see if it works.

3. Doing Things Half-Heartedly

I have written before that most of things that I have agreed to work on felt like they were done half heartedly, that I was not able to put my heart on my craft. I think in most of the project that I have done, I was not able to say that 'I worked hard for this' -- that I have sleepless nights, and cried bucket of tears to make it work out.

This problem is the result of me being unable to manage my time. I noticed that my projects were done in haste. Often there was no timeline followed. Although, in fairness, even if some of my projects were done in a whim, I know I was able to exceed the expectation or at least met the expectations. But what's wrong with that is: I could not feel the sense of accomplishment. I could not call my projects as a 'breakthrough'.

4. Acknowledging Fear and Embracing It

I've always felt like I was hovering on the edge not knowing if I should take a leap of faith or not. Sometimes, I think I have 'taken a leap' when really it was just hop and not really diving head-on. I may have said about embracing and working on fear but really, I think most of the time I was just pretending to embrace it.

This fear is partially the reason why I am doing things half-heartedly, I didn't want to get hurt or get my craft rejected (knowing I poured my soul and heart on it) that's why I didn't want to exhaust everything I have so that if it gets rejected it wouldn't offend or hurt me.

5. Life is about Living

We are humans, and that we are flawed. As much as I want to live all the things I have learned on the personal development books, and conventions I took, I will still make a mistake. But making a mistake, and failing is only a small part of what makes this life colorful. I should be grateful that in spite of my failures I still have friends who are understanding, family that's supportive, and God who still provides tomorrow to start all over again. There are many missed opportunities, and wasted time but I still have another day to make up for my mistake and to become better. I learned how to forgive myself, and not to deprecate myself for my shortcomings.

Shakespeare once said 'The fault, ... , is not in our stars, but in ourselves.' 2015 would be the same as 2014 if I will not change myself. So, I already hold these lessons so close to my heart because I want my 2015 to be bigger and better than my 2014. I can only pray, hope, and wish but the answer is my attitude and by taking an action.

I'm ready 2015. I'm ready for you.
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