128: blank.

I am incredibly depressed. 

so i guess this is going no where. 

so i guess this will be nothing but a sad song. 

i want to kill myself.

but i'm not going to do it

because tomorrow is going to be another day.

this feeling will pass.

so shall this post.

FIN.

127: Outlander fan made video

If you are an outlander fan, you will like this video.
It almost hit home.

126: Meet some of my friends :)

This is my friend Raisa (left) and she's one of my favorite 

person in the whole wide world. :P

These are my childhood friends.

125: "... you have me all the time"

124: Picture: It has to be perfect

123: Something to think about

This is very interesting. I found this in the Greatest - Cat Power Youtube video that I took for my entry here. What's interesting here is that there was 170 people who were sharing the same realization. And I'm not exempted to that.

You might wonder what led me to think why I feel like this is not my real life. It's just that I really believe that I am destined/born for greatness. I'm not delusional it's just something that I totally believe in. If I'm not living that life, I'm sure as hell I won't stop until I got there.

122: Movie Review: Sherlock Holmes

I do not know why I skipped watching this and just decided to watch just now. Much to my regret. I should have watch this along time ago. But it was never too late.

After finally catching serial killer and occult "sorcerer" Lord Blackwood, legendary sleuth Sherlock Holmes and his assistant Dr. Watson can close yet another successful case. But when Blackwood mysteriously returns from the grave and resumes his killing spree, Holmes must take up the hunt once again. Contending with his partner's new fiancée and the dimwitted head of Scotland Yard, the dauntless detective must unravel the clues that will lead him into a twisted web of murder, deceit, and black magic - and the deadly embrace of temptress Irene Adler. - IMDB

Okay, much as I love Robert Downey Jr., this movie never really got my attention. But I thought of giving this a chance.

Then of course I was proven wrong. The movie can now tell me "I told you so" in my face because this movie is just awesome as Robert and Jude law is awesome.

I like the twist and turn of the story. How the scene rewinds and reveals the plot layer by later. It was fun because the story did not go in a straight pace route. It went in a different direction before heading on the same line.

Robert Downey and Jude Law has an incredible chemistry. I like how opposite they are in character, get into each other's throat, but sticks together. Plus, I think Robert and Jude justified their character as Sherlock and John. They have lived the character true to life. Rachel McAdams, on the other hand, was plain. I was not crazy about her as I was crazy about Sherlock and John. But to say, her character Irene (Adler) was not a distraction despite how plain her character is.

If you like mystery, with twist and humor this is a spot on. I am now excited for the part 2 which I will be watching tomorrow.

rating: 5/5

121: Picture: Kate and Rachel

Kate + Rachel for Eternity

120: Finally, Renner and Weisz!

not my picture; taken on twitter

Finally! Remember my last post that where in I have said that I was planning to watch the shooting of Bourne Legacy? Finally it happened.

And finally I have seen Rachel Weisz and Jeremy Renner.

No pictures though because the security there was tight as hell. I was able to pull out my cellphone  but then again the security there scolded me and told me not to take pictures. So, despite of how much I wanted to take a picture of just either Rachel and Jeremy, I was not able to.

I literally spazzed out when I saw Rachel! She had her back on us but when my friend and I spotted her, we both blurted out "OHMYGAD that's Rachel" and yeah seconds later she turned around, thus confirming our super wild guess. It was so easy to spot Rachel despite the fact that there were too many female foreigners who were also wearing a black tank top as Rachel. But I guess that's what being a fan is, being able to recognize the celebrity even only their back.

To let all of you know *yeah like as if, haha* , she was so!@%^%#*@(*&(*&@@ pretty! I was totally starstruck! I think I just fell in love with her a little more than I should. haha! OMG. I. Am. Still. Spazzing. ♥

Anyhoo, we stayed at the location for 3 hours and you cannot imagine how tough it was to be on the position where we could see the actors/actress and cower every now and then just so the location guards would not shoo us from where we stood. If not for the ukay-ukay store where we stood we won't be able to see them. We kept on pretending like as if we were buying every time a guard would bark for people not to loiter and hang around. 

The whole adventure was exhausting but at the end of the day, after seeing Rachel Weisz and Jeremy Renner, after finding difficult spots just to see them, and after standing for three hours we awarded ourselves with Ronald McD's cheeseburger and fries. Thus, all exhaustion was forgotten. The giddy feeling of being a fangirl was satisfied.

119: Blueberry Nights

Everyone has their fair share of insomnia. I do. Just like now. Honestly, it's tedious to lie on my back and wait for stupor to take over. It's stressful to toss and turn and stare at the ceiling in oblivion ~ hoping for that unconsciousness to come any time soon.

But during these nights, my train of thoughts is an endless flowing river. These are the times that I will have the chance to think about tomorrow, a plan, a dream, basically think about nothingness in general. Staying up late makes me conscious of my existence, just because there was really nothing much to do but to exhaust myself to sleep.

Yes I did think at the moment while I was waiting for sleep to come over. What I thought about is the lesson I have learned. Today, it's poignant that what I have learned in life is how much fear can overpower me from doing something I love; that constant fear of the unknown that hinders me from taking a step.

To say, I know what fear is. I have my fears and it comes in different proportions but this certain fear that I have come into acquaintance for today is something that has the power to chain me from the ground. It was depressing because the realization had struck me too late. It's painful to know that the one's keeping me chained from the ground was myself and I was just too afraid to grab the key that I am wearing around my neck ~ fear for the consequences.

Yes, I berated myself for worrying too much, for being scared thus missing opportunity. But never again. I cannot waste any more chance that's given to me.

Currently listening: Cat Power - The Greatest



Once I wanted to be the greatest
No wind or waterfall could stall me
And then came the rush of the flood
The stars at night turned deep to dust

118: Quote: Fear Can Hold You Back

Fear can hold you back if you let it win you.

117: Movie Review: Whistleblower (2010)

Okay, I still have the Weisz-epidemic. I decided to watch as much as I can with some of her movies. This sudden intense fangirling has started since she had come. Can you really blame it? It's rather embarrassing how I totally spaz when she's concerned.

Inspired by true events, Kathy (Rachel Weisz) is an American police officer who takes a job working as a peacekeeper in post-war Bosnia. Her expectations of helping to rebuild a devastated country are dashed when she uncovers a dangerous reality of corruption, cover-up and intrigue amid a world of private contractors and multinational diplomatic double-talk. - IMDB

I really do not know what to expect here, though I know that the movie involves human trafficking. But the revelation in the movie really had surprised me.

So here we have Kathy Bolkovac who's very passionate of her work as a US Policewoman. Then an opportunity to work as a peacekeeper for UN in Bosnia arises. In need of a high paying salary due to circumstances, she had agreed to to take it. What she doesn't know is how much revelation she'll discover between the connection of human sex trafficking and the United Nations.

*spoiler* ~ Basically, some of the UN Peacekeepers are protectors of the bar that is in the business of human trafficking. They abduct the women who are the left alone due to the fact that their families/men have died in the Bosnian war. Then they were sold in the bars to work as prostitutes.

There were few disturbing scenes such as the torture scene. But what I find more disturbing is how these Peacekeepers are really monsters; and how the UN had kept a blind eye and seem to not care that their men are involve in such atrocity.

116: Bummer

It has been quite a while since the last time I have posted here. But anyways, before I start apologizing for not updating, I'd rather just write on. 

I know every Filipino knows about this. If not, I believe that person lives in cave. So last January 8 Rachel Weisz has arrived in our country. She arrived after Jeremy Renner arrived few days ago. First and foremost, it doesn't happen everyday or every year that we'll have a Hollywood movie (as big budget as that) come here to shoot. So yes, everyone went a little too excited. 

I wouldn't deny that I am one of those people who was entirely very excited about the thought that Jeremy Renner, Rachel Weisz, and Edward Norton is filming here. To say, I love Jeremy Renner, Rachel Weisz, and Edward Norton. I love Renner and I came to love him when he was such a bad ass in the movie Hurt Locker.  In fact, days before his arrival, I was telling my friend how much I love him when we watch his recent movie MI4. Second, Rachel Weisz is one of my girl crushes. I have liked her since her movie the Mummy. I also like Edward Norton because of his Fight Club and the Hulk movie. Having them here in the country was like a dream come true. So basically, I was titillated to know the news.

I have been telling myself that it's a must for me to see them. I have to see them because it might take forever or never again for them to be in our country. 

Seriously, I have qualms in going at the shooting site. My worries are of the following: 

1. We might not see Rachel, Jeremy, or Norton thus effort is wasted.
2. I am not too familiar with the place. 

But what weighs so much is my first reason. I was afraid of the disappointment if we failed to see them. But then I scolded myself for being silly. Besides, if I consider my chances of seeing them versus of me just staying at home of course the former has a higher chances. So yeah despite the fear of disappointment, I just told myself to go. At least, I wouldn't wonder what could've happen if I saw them.

So yes, this Saturday we'll be watching the shooting and hopefully we'll be successful and see them. I'm praying that I'll be able to see them. 

115: What is life

I took a break and decided to write while I'm in the mood. 

*sigh*, there's something that I have been thinking and though this thought have crossed my mind not once nor twice but rather quite constantly I might as well write it here. Though, I have to warn you that this entry might have have been already written in the past. 

You see, I am still nagging myself of how much I let life pass me by. It feels like I am missing what life really is. But on contrary (just to be contrary) what life is all about? Is it by me sitting in this fancy building working during the night and earning a decent salary or is it the kind of life that those people probably in Republic or Opus are doing at the moment? Is life all about mothers singing lullaby to their sons/daughters at night? You know what life really is?

To me, my definition of life is being able to experience things we never have experience. Life is colorful.

Life had been incredibly dull for me for a while. I mean, most (mark the word, MOST) of my free time were spent taking rest and if I'm not taking a rest I spend my time working. I just want to go out of there and see the world. Take a free fall towards the deepest sea. Eat the spiciest curry. Laugh with strangers. Be passionately in love with someone. Be reckless. Be wild. Be life. 

Can I just break free from this cocoon and just be me?

114: Picture: Pug sad.

113: the Bat-Shoes has arrived!

And I can now be a bat-girl

"I need to have that shoes". Thus, what my head told me when I saw this picture that Bianca Gonzales tweeted. I love nerdy stuffs and Batman so it's not a surprise that this one had grabbed my attention. 

This one was bought in HongKong. DC Converse was sold here worth 3000+. Additionally, the shoes was only available for males and kids. But I am glad that they didn't have a size for women or else I would have spent 3000+ to my impulsiveness.  

I am happy that I got this for 2,500 and thought how much I have saved. Now, I can play bat-girl at night and do some ninja stuff.