Monday, August 29, 2011

63: "What a shame"

What a shame.

I could not help but say this to myself when I ended up scrolling my friend's Goodreads profile. Actually I was not pertaining to her but I was implying that to myself. Recently, I had been indulging in more of an erotica book. It's embarrassing that I take pleasure in reading it.

Actually, I got hooked in reading Kate Pearce Simply series without meaning to. I've bumped into her 1st book Simply Sexual by accident. Just because I need a diversion I thought of giving it a chance. For all I know after reading that book I ended up picking book 2, book 3, book 4, up until now I'm reading book 6 of the series. I got hooked that I ended up delaying my reading on other books.

I'm an open-minded, liberal, non-squemish person so though the book was not for faint hearted, I did not have a problem getting into it. By means some of the book in the series already falls under sadomasochist category, I still continued on.

What compels me about the story is its treading to the darker shade of sexuality. I have read books that treaded into soft porn but this book is just way beyond of my boundaries. The books' recipe has romance but encasing the deep sexual activities in further chapters. Sex plays a huge part in the story where as the plot actually is just a cover.

I have muttered "What a shame" when I realized that as of late, I have gotten more more into this kind of book. It mortifies me when I realized what kind of reader I am. I am not embarrassed that I love romance/historical-romance book. But books that falls under erotica to sadomasochist book ~ however ~ makes me feel that I am becoming perverted and (a little) ~ shallow ~.


But at least I've got my wake up and realized that I should get back to reading books that has substance.

*palm face*

Saturday, August 27, 2011

62: Penshoppe's Checkered Sneakers

Just look how cute these shoes are! This is the reason why I want to 
drop to the mall later and see if this sneakers fit thy feet. hahaha!

61: "Incredibly incredible"

Incredibly, incredible.

That's what I usually say when something surpassing happened and incredibly incredible is just an apt expression for how fast the weekdays had passed. Believe me, when Monday came I was looking forward to weekend already. My colleague laughed at me and said that our Monday hasn't started yet and there I was already hoping for the weekdays to end.

Who can blame me anyway when weekend seem to pass me by without me feeling it. And what made me say so? Well it's because my weekends were spent with me sleeping in my room, trying to make up for my lack of sleep. So Saturdays and Sundays does not last long for me.

I blurted incredibly incredible earlier when I realized that weekdays had passed in the blink of an eye. It seems one day I was hoping it would then then there I was already hurrah-ing in my room because it's finally weekend. I can now go back to doing stuffs that I love. Indulging to things that I could not enjoy while on weekdays.

Anyhow for this weekend what I am looking forward to is the following:

1. Reading
2. Watching
3. Buying stuffs
4. Designing my header
5. Indulging by buying Whitehat

Let's just hope that I may be able to do it! :)

HAHAHA! I realized how shallow my post is. :P

Sunday, August 21, 2011

60: Movie: Conan the Barbarian: “I live, I love, I slay, and I am content.”

So I watch this today with my friends. I have been waiting for this in our cinema since the first time I heard of this. I have been in love with Jason Momoa when I started watching Game of Thrones. When I knew that he has this upcoming movie, I knew that I will be watching it.

Then the wait it is over.

I never did doubt that Jason can do good for Conan because he did great as Khal Drogo. And I was not surprised to see that he had brought the same life in this movie as much as he did in the t.v series.

This Saturday was really planned for my friends and I to attend the mass in Victory. They told me that attending the mass is uplifting but plans changed as we realized that one of my friends is not heading there.

So what happened was we ended up going to the mall and watching Conan (among other things).

The movie was gory. It has a lot of scenes that made me flinch. So if you're the type of person who's skittish towards blood and gory scenes, I think this is not for you. But if you think you have the heart of an epic - action pack movie then go for it.

The actors/actresses in the movie was great. Hands down to them. Jason Momoa as Conan was believable. I adore him doing this kind of film because it seems perfectly fitting for him. The dialogue was a little cheesy, but can be shrugged off. The romance felt a little rushed. However, I might say that Rachel and Jason had a spark. I just hope that the development of their romance was downright visible and not just an attraction happen after few days together.

The film was bereft because it made me feel like the film was playing through fast forward track. They could have developed more in the sequencing of the events. However despite this seemingly fast pace of the plot it was entertaining.

I have never seen the original Conan so I can never make a comparison but if I would think if this movie deserves to have a sequel, I'd say yes. I'm saying yes not because I am biased to Jason but because the film was totally worth it for part 2. It was entertaining enough for me to crave to see what would happen next. Plus, the feeling that this movie was rushed -- can still be cured.

Rating: 4/5

59: Cooking: Spicy Sauteed Fish with Olives and Tomatoes

So this is my attempt to ala Masterchef. I have been obsessed with Masterchef ever since it aired and I have been crushing on Gordon Ramsay ever since I have started watching Hell's Kitchen. Since then I have been very very fascinated with cooking.

I wanted WANTED to try out cooking but I chickened out because of the thought of failing on my attempt and wasting a few hundred bucks on an un-edible food. So most of the time I was procrastinating.

However, the longer I watch Masterchef and seeing the passion of the contestant and the judges, it makes me want to try as well.

So I'm trying this one out and see if I will succeed. I think this is not going to be tough this is just sautéed. It wouldn't take a genius to perfect this.

But let's hope it will work out for me.

Will get back to tell you guys how it went! :)

58: Something to Look Forward to

Well we can't always look at the dark side right?

Today, my lovely friend Mae had passed the Nursing License Exam. She's officially a professional now. After a take and a re-take she had finally passed. It had been a gruesome fight for her. I'm so proud of my girl friend right now for passing it and for never giving up. You go girl!

Anyway, since she had passed I am hoping against hope that we will be celebrating her victory. We already planned to go out later today which I am looking forward to. I am hoping because last minute cancelation always happen. God knows how I am done with cancellations. Now, I am looking forward for the foodie and for the few clothes that I may buy here and there and of course good companion.

I am also hoping to drag my friends at Terranova and Forever 21.

Hopefully, the Terranova is still on sale because Forever 21 is defo on Sale today.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

57: Annoyed @ 7 AM

There's something so incredibly annoying today.

Have you have that feeling when you wake up you have that haunch that something is not right? I crunched my nose upon waking up and thought dreadfully that it's Saturday. Now here comes the uncertainty again; that feeling of not knowing what will happen.

I have dreaded the day because yet again I was embarrassed with myself.

Why did I even ... why did I ever agree to such conundrum? To such terrible headache and trouble? Well at least now maybe I can say what had Carrie Bradshaw had said ...

"I'll think of him fondly as an .......".

Am I bitter? No, really just embarrassed by the fact that I was hang up. hahaha.

Oh well, time to pull up that Miranda Priestly "I don't give a damn" hand shake.

Friday, August 19, 2011

56: Change because I want to

"Why are you blooming lately?"

"Nothing really, I just want to change."

*jeers* "Are you in love?"

*rolls eyes*

Honestly, it's a little annoying when people think that you are changing because of particular someone. I know sometimes change is sparked by how others inspired us. Sometimes we wanted to become a better person than we used to to impressed this particular person that we like. However, it's not always the case.

I made that subconscious/conscious decision when I realized that I cannot be forever like who I am. I want to become a better person. I have been more of tomboy-ish. I barely wear make-up, I do not dress up that much, and only care for the current book trending and series. But I'm growing. I'm a woman and I cannot forever act like as if I do not care aesthetically.

One day it just snapped out of me to love myself more; to give myself more. So yeah, before I used to spend my money on buying books, now I have decided to spend some of my money on what I should wear and even to primp myself in the salon.

No one really inspired me to become better. I'm not really in love with anyone. I just want to change because I think myself deserves something much better.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

55: Battling With Over Indulgent Self

Let's face it. Exercising for someone who's not so used of exercising is tiresome. It's not so appealing for someone who's over indulgent; and for someone who only cares about not stressing themselves of having to use those stored fats.

However, sometimes something needs to win over.

This time I have to battle with my over-indulgent self.

I just came from a 9 hour shift and an hour ride home so exercising was not on my top list. What I really wanted was to have my breakfast and sleep. FAST ASLEEP. Or probably because I am a book junkie, grab the book that I am currently reading while waiting for sleep to take over. However, I have been nagging myself to lose some weight because I have to reach this normal weight for my height. So even though my over-indulgent self was telling me not to, I have to bully it to submission. The only way to get over it is to convince myself of my target and of what I aim to goal.

Believe me, for the whole time I was exercising all I can think about was reaching the end. Though, I must admit that I was just forcing myself to finish the whole exercise, I was able to finish it. HAH. So yeah, even though I was thinking of procrastinating and stopping -- I didn't. I'm glad I won over myself. Giving up just made me not to.

You know sometimes the greatest enemy we have is ourselves. We need to get better of ourselves because if we don't, we would succumb to the things that we really do not want.

Determination and perseverance is the answer.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

54: Holding On

Back November last two years ago when I fell in love with this guy. I may not have been thinking about him as constantly as I used to but I know deep inside that he held a very important space in my heart.

He had been with me through my worst. He stayed when others would have left. He was the one who almost touched my heart.

But due to distance, our relationship was not able to survive that long.

Our relationship lasted for 7 months. Though it ended, I wouldn't say that it went down the drain. We settled as friends when we came to the point that we knew that the relationship was not working.

Up until now we've kept our communication. I am happy that we ended up as friends because probably if we have kept our relationship we would end up hating each other.

I still have hopes for us to be together. I know it's all about right timing and patience. I know if one day if we are both still available and we meet then probably we'll take our relationship to different level. But for now I want us to be friends. At least when we come to that point, we already have a better understanding of each other.

*sigh* writing about this actually makes me miss him more. </3

53: Setup for a date

I don't know whether to post this or not as I know this blog is available for everyone to read. I am only a little hesitant because I am afraid this might be read by this person I am going to go out with.

Note: To the guy I am going to go out with I meant no offense.

Last week I was setup with a date with someone I barely knew. I know the guy by name but hardly knew anything about him. People say that he's nice -- which I think he is. So since I was already setup in the date I thought why not just give it a chance? Maybe it wouldn't hurt to go out with him. Why not just enjoy it?

So I agreed and he agreed as well. But what really boggles me is the fact that he seem not to be into it. I was sort of expecting that he would take an effort to communicate with me to make sure how things will go in this date. But he seems not to be interested at all.

Ever since my officemate had set it all up, I was the one doing the asking and taking the step to communicate. My officemate said that he's shy but seriously, the shyness is not doing anything. It's even starting to get into me. I wanted to back out already because doing all the approach made me feel desperate to go out with him when I'm not.

It was a little off-putting in my opinion when I'm doing all the effort to take a step. I wish he would meet me half-way. If it's his shyness that's keeping him from making a step then I'd say that it's not doing him a favor. He's losing a point. He's giving me an impression that he does not care at all.

The indifference and shrugging off was really a turn off. In my opinion, since he had agreed to go out with me at least he should show a little effort -- even if reluctantly. If he's uncomfortable or did not really want it, he should have said so when I asked him if he really wants to go out.

But we haven't got into the dating part yet so he might redeem himself. I'll give him a chance. Oh good heavens, I am praying that he's not going to blow this one into different proportions because I don't want this one to end up in all unpleasantness.

Please let it be good.

Monday, August 8, 2011

52: Oh this was existing!

I have forgotten that I have this blog! I just checked to see a previous post of mine because someone had been commenting about my particular post. I have forgotten about that post and even can't remember that I have written about it but it seems I did so I thought about checking it out. When I logged in  my blogger account I found that I have this "Oh hi!" blog. I knew most of my blogs are always unorganized and mostly half-dead but when I checked this blog again I thought that this was still pretty neat.

Well it wouldn't hurt to be active here again, right?

51: Jealous of the passion

Ben Starr
Whenever I watch Masterchef, it never fails to make me feel so jealous of the passion that the contests have for cooking. During the audition day I witness how others have groveled to get into the top 30 just because they know that this is what they are born to do. Even the ones that did not even pass the audition made me feel jealous because they know what they want and wasn't just able to reach the judges' standard.

I want the same passion as these contest have; the kind of passion that drove them to fight and prove that cooking is what makes them.

There was a particular contest who said something that poked right through me and it's Ben Star (was it Stark?). I was maimed when he said that "This (cooking) is what I want to do for the rest of my life". It wounded me because it made me conscious of the fact that simple statement is something I have never said in my entire life and something that I have to say yet in the future. But though it had poked right through me, it did not leave me disabled but rather determined to be able to say the same thing with my utmost sincerity.

I figured that I have to do something, I have to find my niche ... find where my passion lies. If it takes me a lifetime to search for it then by God I'll do it. I am passionate. I have it in me I just need to open my eyes and see it.

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