Sunday, May 19, 2013

207: Life is Amazing

Most of my post here had been me telling how my life had been, how much I wanted to know my purpose, and I know I've spent so much time asking myself what role I'm playing in this world while I existed. While, I still believe that I have a mission to do something essential in this world, I just discovered that I have stop trying very hard.

Crazy as it may seem, I think the problem with my finding an answer is that I let it beat me to frustration. Though, I must say that it brought me to discovering myself more, I must admit that I have somehow let life pass me by. Thinking about it makes me realize how much have I really spent trying to matter to the world, and be the next heroine. 

But you know I wouldn't say that it didn't do me good, because I'm telling you it did better things to me. I think for the past few years that I was trying to make sense of what's happening to me made me a better person. I started to appreciate more, and have fun more.

I think all of us -- or maybe some of us -- has that thinking of wanting to save the world. To matter. To follow the footsteps of people who had revolutionized, who had changed the world. And I wanted to. I desperately wanted to be part of this elite group. But then I realized just lately that maybe I really should stop trying to save the world, to find a cure for cancer, revolutionize the technology because maybe it's not my role. I realized that I should stop playing someone's role. 

So for now, I would stop trying hard. I'll let life happen. If I'm not meant to be the next Steve Jobs, then it's okay. I realized that I may not be able to change the world, but I can start small. And that's what I am going to do from now on.

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