274: It's Lent Season!

Image from http://www.holyfamilysisters.org

It’s Lent Season! This is possibly one of the biggest event for Catholics, next to Christmas. To say, this is the first time that I am actually excited. I never really cared much about Lent because I found it too melancholic. For those who do not live in Philippines, during Lent you can really feel that the nation is in mourning. There are little, to no regular TV programs, most especially during Good Friday to Black Saturday. The retail stores are closed, the people are in their own respective houses praying, meditating, and simply savoring the silence. To me, it’s too bleak. But of course, while others are doing vigil, there are those who spend the Holiday in beaches. It really depends. But where I live, it’s evident that we are in vigil.

You might wonder why I suddenly had a change of perspective. With my renewed relationship with God, this will allow me to go deeper with my reflections and meditations. I want to spend the Holy Week meditating on God‘s love to save us. For me, this is an opportunity to further deepen my relationship with Him, and I’d also like to reflect on my own sinfulness and what can I do to in return for God’s love for me.

CONFESSION. Funny moment. Like what I have said, I never really participated that much during Lent so this is actually my first time to do fasting. I thought that the fasting would start next week, so earlier I enjoyed eating hotdog and egg during breakfast. To my regret, I was told that actually, the fasting starts today. You cannot imagine my confusion with what to do with the hotdog and egg that I ate. I asked my mom if I have to poke my throat so I can throw up the contents of my stomach. On the other hand, I thought I’d confess it to the priest, but then saying ‘Father I have sinned, I ate hotdogs and eggs when I should be fasting’ sounds ridiculous.

Actually, I still do not know what to do with the hotdog and the egg. But yes, I’m actually fasting, I’ve given up Facebook and Twitter, and will reduce my eating to only one full meal in a day.

You, what are you going to do this Lent?

By the way, if you have tumblr. Can you please follow the two blogs that I have created?

http://weareromancatholics.tumblr.com/
http://longlivepopefrancis.tumblr.com/

266: Because Christmas is Love

Christmas is just a few days around. I am so excited for Christmas just like any other kid (okay, like as if). I love how people are getting all crazy buying gifts for their love ones. To say, I haven't done my Christmas shopping yet. I am looking forward to go shopping this weekend with my good friend. Wish me luck, considering how crazy the malls are recently. But I am excited nonetheless.

One of my traditions during Christmas is to watch Love Actually, I don't want to go into the details of the story, but the gist was that it focuses on couples dealing with their love lives. The story was straight to the point, plus the ending just gives me goosebumps as it features people in the airport greeting, kissing their family while it plays Beach Boys' God Only Knows. AH! My heart. My Good heart. Every time, every time that movie ends it never fails to make me all mushy. Go and watch because the movie was a good feel one. :)

210: Sunset with Friends.

I'm glad that I have wonderful friends I can walk with until sunset.

207: Life is Amazing

Most of my post here had been me telling how my life had been, how much I wanted to know my purpose, and I know I've spent so much time asking myself what role I'm playing in this world while I existed. While, I still believe that I have a mission to do something essential in this world, I just discovered that I have stop trying very hard.

Crazy as it may seem, I think the problem with my finding an answer is that I let it beat me to frustration. Though, I must say that it brought me to discovering myself more, I must admit that I have somehow let life pass me by. Thinking about it makes me realize how much have I really spent trying to matter to the world, and be the next heroine. 

But you know I wouldn't say that it didn't do me good, because I'm telling you it did better things to me. I think for the past few years that I was trying to make sense of what's happening to me made me a better person. I started to appreciate more, and have fun more.

I think all of us -- or maybe some of us -- has that thinking of wanting to save the world. To matter. To follow the footsteps of people who had revolutionized, who had changed the world. And I wanted to. I desperately wanted to be part of this elite group. But then I realized just lately that maybe I really should stop trying to save the world, to find a cure for cancer, revolutionize the technology because maybe it's not my role. I realized that I should stop playing someone's role. 

So for now, I would stop trying hard. I'll let life happen. If I'm not meant to be the next Steve Jobs, then it's okay. I realized that I may not be able to change the world, but I can start small. And that's what I am going to do from now on.

14: Extremely Faithful and Incredibly Hopeful.

Tomorrow is the official start date of my work. I am nervous because it's basically a new world for me. A new environment, new set of friends, new challenges. The nagging thought of failure continuously getting into my nerves. The "what-ifs" are flooding in my head. But what I have in my heart are these embers of hope and faith that I am going to be alright.

When I graduate I thought that I am finally free from the bondage of responsibility, and of hard work. I thought that life would be much easier, but to my disappointment, it isn't. Life after graduation was survival of the fittest. The pressures and stress that I had in college was nothing compare after.

But you know, what I think about life is that it pushes us around and it's either we allow it to bully and bent us into submission or we fight back and bend it on our will. I thought to myself earlier, while I was staring outside in the dark oblivion of sky that I wouldn't allow to lose. I cannot lose. I have to push back. Losing is not an option.

I have hope and faith and I will not allow it to die in me.