Sunday, March 11, 2012

135: Hitting Myself with A Hammer

Does it really feel so good to hit ourselves with hammer?

Why do we do things that we know that are not good for ourselves? Do we do it because it gives us a minute - a second of happiness? Because it make us feel good?

This is one of the question that I have asked myself while I was staring at my mobile phone. I know what I am doing is treading on to trouble, yet I know I am going to do it. I am going to do it because it feels good. I am going to do it because I wasn’t thinking of the consequences, because I was savoring the selfishness of my action.

I felt no remorse about it, because I am thrilled about the thought of it. Though the guilt is slowly sinking in, pushing me back, I know I will be ignoring it.

Yes, it feels good but the guilt is killing me. But do I really care at the moment?

I know where my point of weaknesses are. THIS thing. THIS thing is just exquisitely tempting to me. I must fight all the urges, but I know I will not. This is where I am weak at.

I shook my head and placed the phone back on the table, with a message telling me that my message was sent.


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