Sunday, October 16, 2011

92: untitled apathy

Every time I think about him I couldnt help but feel this incredible sense of longing. I know we both didn't promise anything to each other, so holding him to remain steadfast is impossible. I knew even before the chances of him meeting someone else is just great. I know I should prepare myself for possible separation and keep in mind that we are not bind by commitment. I do not want to hold him because it would seem selfish of me. I know if I did. I would be oblige to give him things that I am not ready to give yet; and I know that I wouldn't give him anything. Then, possibly, he will likely to end up hating me; because I had been coward to love him fully.

It's saddening because everything is suppressed. It's saddening because he was the best thing that had happened to me. Now, things seems to wither. But this does not mean that I no longer have any hope because I still do. Besides, I really believe that if we are meant to be, the world would conspire for us to get together eventually.

Let's just wait and see what will happen. But I wouldn't deny that I love him plenty. ♥

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